I starch my shirt dey waka, dey bounce, dey feel.
Who cares if na ready-made or bend-down and select?
If you ask how much for the shirt, na 15k I spend.
Who wan fall hand? Who no wan shine for Instagram?
No job but for Facebook my title na CEO.
If you no ask, I no go tell or I call one strange firm.
Lie say I get 15 staff and I’m doing very well.
I don’t feel the recession, I EPP people on MMM.
Don’t judge a book by it’s picture on Instagram they say.
But I’ve managed to make people feel my fart dey scent .
After all, all of them no know where I dey stay.
They are liking the pictures I take for my Oga Benz.
Thinking I am one big boy wey him pocket swell.
On this day, my virtual world came calling.
I was trying to price okirika and I heard someone calling.
Screaming my name; the one on Facebook I mean.
“Chucks The Money, Chucks the man who colours Dollars green!!!”
I knew immediately it was someone from my virtual world.
I buried my head deeper into the pile of clothes.
Before she reach me, I hide behind one Iyawo.
I start to calculate the shortest route to take evaporate.
She start to find me, I just pause for person back.
I cannot fall my hand, I cannot watch my reputation crash.
After all I don suffer to fake for so many years online.
One girl go carry hand-fan just to open fowl yansh?
The more she dey find, the more I dey hide.
After a while, I escape out through the other side.
When she ping me later saying she think she saw me today.
I said it can’t be me because I’m in SA trying to buy my shoe lace.