It Doesn’t Work Like That

Nothing works like that. By “like that”, I mean as planned. We all at some point in our lives had plans well ironed out looking like a designer cloth. But reality hands us a rag and demands we change it to a designer or embrace the rag.
I remember growing up and reading science magazines and being thrilled by the knowledge that people actually visit the moon. Like, people actually enter this “ball that is shining in the sky” as I described it at the time.
The idea of going inside the moon made me to research on what it took to go to the moon. My scanty research basically said I needed to be an astronaut or at least a scientist to go to the moon. In my mind I was like “Ordinary astronaut?” The period of this craze, anybody who mistakenly asked me “what do you want to be in future?” will receive a serious “Astronaut. I want to go the moon”.
This continued until reality kicked me on the balls.
When I got into secondary school, I was doing well generally. I still wanted to go to the moon. Don’t forget.
I got to SS1 happy that I was edging close to becoming an astronaut. Remember how you take all courses in ss1? Good.
The day Corper Ade entered into the class to teach Physics was the day I knew I could never achieve my dream of going to the moon. Then, the day Mrs-I can’t remember her name came in to teach Chemistry was the day I asked myself what demon possessed me to say I will do science.
Reality has a way of making you feel like a grade one fool. It levels your high hopes and throws you into your own fate for you to find a way out.
I didn’t need a prophet to tell me to run into an art class. And that was it. What happened? Reality happened. It reminded me that “it doesn’t work like that”
Another quick example;
You know how you get an admission to a University to do a particular course? And your friends and family will go and browse or ask about the plausibility of the course and your possible chances to hammer from that course.
We are unfortunately in this trap called Nigeria. Where the bouncer I met one day in a club was a graduate of economics. Where the okada man that carried me some time in history spoke amazing English language. When I became inquisitive, he quoted a line from Shakespeare’s poem telling me how frustrations could possibly turn to happiness.
Sorry for digressing a bit.
In 2007, a family friend graduated from university with a degree in Geology. He escaped first class with whispers. I mean; 2 points or so.
Hot dude! Great brain.
Now, people began to jealous him and parents began to advise their kids to study Geology because of the pretty prospects. How a big company would employ him to go and mine diamonds and co for them was the looming possibility.
This is eleven years now. He hasn’t gotten any job related to Geology. He hasn’t even gotten a job that is science related. Did I mention he has a master’s degree too?
That makes it even painful.
Those people who applauded him and believed that his financial future was safe and sure actually didn’t know that it doesn’t work like that. They didn’t have an idea.
Its good to be optimistic. Very good. But like my mother told me this morning; “Junior, make sure you have enough shock-absorber in case things refuse to work as planned”
She has understood that it doesn’t work like that…

Osuchukwu Mark Anthony is a young writer with a wit to adore. You may wish to reach him at

Mark Anthony Osuchukwu


  1. Wonderful piece, inspirational…permission to copy and paste dis..promise to add u as someone dat deserve d credit. .answer asap

  2. Nice one dear… An eye opener to the world that “it doesn’t work like that”.

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