Bajinatu Poka

“Guy make we go outside go chill before heat go kill person,” P muttered with an expression that meant he was tired of life.
It was one of those days when everything seemed to come together for the wrong reasons – There was light in most parts of the estate except three houses, ours included. Like that was not enough, the generator decided to pack up and even our guy, Ice had to bring his own, only for it to “blow” less than 10 minutes into the FIFA ’17 match I was having with Nchi.
As we made our way outside, Ice remarked that an alcoholic beverage will not be out of place.
“Correct yarn,” P said in agreement.
“Darlington!” he called out to the househelp. “Wetin we go drink sef?” he queried. “I don tire for spirit and beer I swear. Make we do local, like alomo. Abi how una see am?”

We all nodded in agreement.

We then sat down as we set a couple of joints on fire for the benefit of our happiness. Few minutes later, Darlington sauntered back to our sitting position with a small nylon bag containing 8 bottles. As we opened the nylon bag, our expressions changed from expectant excitement to the extreme version of complete bewilderment. Before us stood eight strange bottles none of us had seen before. A closer look at the bottles revealed the name of this particular alcoholic bitters. It was BAJINOTU POKA!!!

I was the first to break the silence. “Darlington how you dey feel? Wetin you buy come so?” I asked.

“Bros, the woman talk say na the same thing with alomo. She say na the same thing dem use make two of them.” Darlington remarked with that this-was-supposed-to-impress-you-guys look.

“So Iya Wasiu don dey manufacture drinks this one wey she don dey sabi their ingredients?” Ice questioned.

Nchi finally spoke up. “Shey na Olamide been yarn that BAJINOTU POKA for that hin ‘Awon Goons Mi’ jam? The only thing wey go make me drink this agbo na if I see YBNL on top the bottle”
We all laughed although everybody held up their bottles to check if we would really see YBNL on it. We found none.
“Na fake!” Nchi exclaimed as he caused another round of laughter.

“Na all of them be fake be that,” P retorted. “I don see Baby Oku bitters wey no be Flavour N’abania make am”
“Abi na the Kerewa wey no be Zule Zoo produce?” I joined in the comic session.

“Bro bone, even the alomo na ordinary Ghana dey make am. Make we just brew the thing. Last last na die we dey,” Nchi said assertively, taking a large gulp of the dreaded drink.

“POKA!” I screamed as I took a large gulp.

Soon after, all four of us had screamed POKA and taken large gulps and were waiting for our certain deaths.
Fortunately for Darlington, we didn’t die. Well, I doubt I will ever take BAJINOTU POKA again, unless I am really attempting suicide.