“It’s been a while since I have been trying to be with you. I know I don’t stand a chance but I will try regardless.
“I saw you at Lumi’s birthday party but couldn’t muster the courage to say hi. I even lacked the confidence to ask for a dance. I later asked Lumi for your phone number. You may have seen me a couple of times but that doesn’t change the fact that I remain a total stranger.
“I’m begging that you give me the chance to at least be a friend. This is no prank and I’m frankly sorry for bothering you. Please don’t block off my number. You are reading these messages as the blue ticks show but you ain’t responding.
“Please say something. You must think I’m crazy dear. I can be everything a friend can be. The only problem I have is that I’m still broke. Well, that means I have a million problems. What am I even writing? Please give me a response. At least, teach me how to love you. My friends have sworn that I am not focused. They are too certain I would never be friends with a damsel like you.
“Moni, you are still reading and not responding. I will kill myself o.”
(Response comes in on Whatsapp)
“Mom: Ayoola, hope you realize you are such a foolish child.”
(Rapturous knocks on the door of my room)
Mom: Oloshi, open the door let me teach you how to love. Open the door let me teach you a lesson. Idiotttt! Better come and wash the plates. You ashawo of a son.