Asoebi Boys

Groom-to-be: I wan buy am myself make we for uniform. E get one of my friend wey go import am come. If una buy am unasef, we no go uniform. So just send me the bar, make I do this one.

Asoebi Friend: Okay, how much?

Groom-to-be: Na 18k for the top, 5k for the cap and 6k for the feather wey we go put on top.

Asoebi Friend: On top wetin?

Groom-to-be: Why you dey shout sef, na the girl tradition. Abi make we fall our hand? We gats kill this one.

Asoebi Friend: But I no get enough, salary never come.

Groom-to-be: Guy, I no wan hear story, this thing na only once. I no get other guys, abi make I go borrow some?

Asoebi Friend: No be wetin I dey talk, na just say things rough. Before I go buy cloth, account go come dey sweep floor.

Groom-to-be: God dey, which one you dey shake for? This na once in a lifetime, just do me this one. I be your guy.

Asoebi Friend: I know.

Groom-to-be: So act like say you know.

Asoebi Friend: No be wetin I dey talk, na just say things rough.

Groom-to-be: E go better!

Asoebi Friend: I know, but try reduce the price to wetin man fit afford.

Groom-to-be: I no fit. If you wan buy, you buy. This na once in a lifetime thing. I can’t fuck up. You wan tell me say this thing cost pass beer you drink last week?

Asoebi Friend: No be like that.

Groom-to-be: Na so.

Asoebi Friend: I just dey….Okay, e don do. Send your account make I pay some. Next week I go find money complete am.

Groom-to-be: Na now you come, I go send the control.


Photo by Rene Böhmer on Unsplash

Chuck Norris

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