My Barber Said

Have you ever cheated on your barber? How guilty did you feel?

The relationship guys have with their barbers is a mysterious one. Very mysterious indeed. Sometimes, a barber messes up his client’s hair and leaves the client looking like a camel. That dissatisfied customer still goes to the same barber the very next week.

Is this the same way people get stuck in abusive relationships or are the dynamics different here?

Sometimes, you tell the barber what style of hair-cut you want but he insists on another. Other times, you ask him to trim your hair and he just blatantly refuses. “Na this one go fit you,” he says. You then begin to wonder if you own your head fully or if your barber has bought some shares of your head.

When you eventually feel brave enough to try out a new barber, you just start feeling like a cheating spouse. You try to avoid walking past your original barber’s shop. When you eventually bump into him, you begin to answer questions no one asked you. “I traveled out of town and I needed a trim,” you explain.

No matter how much you beg another barber to maintain the current style you have on, your old barber will definitely know someone else “touched your hair”. The only set of people who don’t get caught when they cheat on their barbers are bald men. It is easy to say you rubbed soap on the hair and used a blade to shine it up.

The abusive relationship between barbers and their clients is such a manipulative one. I have been in cases where I needed to cut my hair but refused to simply because my barber wasn’t picking his call or he was just clearly unavailable. Even cheating husbands are surprisingly faithful to their barbers. What’s the trick really? Could it be the way their barbers touch their hair or that feeling when he is applying after-shave ointment afterward? Maybe, it’s the fact that they quickly grow to become your gist-buddies.

Even when people threaten to move on from their barbers, they all end up going back. When they do, they make excuses. The only reasons most people ever change their barbers include the relocation of either party. It’s crazy out here and I trust you can relate to a few of the highlighted scenarios. They tell you when to have just a trim, brush up the hair just a little, treat the hair, or dye the hair. And you almost always get to agree with their decisions.

What sort of relationship do you have with your barber? I will really love to read about your experiences.


Photo by Edgar Chaparro on Unsplash

Horse Thing


  1. I am a lady and I can totally relate to this, especially the part you start avoiding them after “cheating”
    Nice piece!

    • Hello Ameena,

      Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to share with your friends.

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