Author: Horse Thing
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Barest Minimum
Been busy through the years but now I’m scared. So scared of being labeled careless. Moved from trying so hard to being clueless. I tried to be tasty when you were thirsty but my jokes were considered tasteless. Been told I try too hard, so I restrained. But exercising caution is now causing a strain. You…
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I’m Fine, Thanks.
There is nothing wrong with me, absolutely nothing wrong with me. If you see me at the movies alone, don’t bother. There is nothing wrong with me, absolutely nothing wrong with me. If you see me at the pub guzzling beer alone, don’t bother. There is nothing wrong with me, absolutely nothing wrong with me. If…
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Cancelled
I just got cancelled. Not by the host of saints or my creator. Not by my parents or my siblings. I just got cancelled by strangers who can’t properly spell ‘cancel’. I just got cancelled by a council of strangers on a social media platform. They say once you are cancelled, you can’t amount to…
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O le ni everybody!
It’s just a few minutes before 08:00 am and already, I have witnessed a robbery operation. The robbers? Two plain-clothed Policemen and one wearing their camouflage uniform. The one wearing the uniform was bearing a gun and occupied the entire backseat of a tricycle. The duo on mufti rode on a motorcycle. Once a commercial…
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Rema: 5 Facts About The Next Rated Act
He is definitely the man of the moment. In the wee hours of Sunday, 20th October 2019, Rema became the third artiste to win the much-coveted Next Rated Award under the tutelage of Don Jazzy. The first two being Wande Coal under the defunct Mo’Hits and Reekado Banks (under controversial circumstances) while with Mavin Records….
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Your Autosave Is Successful
It’s Friday morning and you wake up really early. Lagos traffic has been terrible lately. As usual, you reach out for your phone first. And then your heart skips two beats. The notification on your phone is the last thing you expect. It shouldn’t be bad news. Ordinarily, it should make you smile. Yes, your…
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The Erigma II: Crime, Drugs, Sex & The Hood
If you don’t like Erigga for his profane outbursts and obscenity when rapping, his latest album – The Erigma II is definitely not for you. On his 2017 album – A Trip To The South, the south-south rap god tried to refine his sound a bit. On this new album, Erigga goes back to his…
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Operation Sweep And Flush
The new craze in town seems to be all about shedding weight. A lot of people associate looking trim with being healthy. Gym subscriptions are selling faster than ever, slim tea business is booming and shapewear has become the new gold. Waist Training, No Home Training Those interested in being proud owners of snatched…
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How To Gatecrash A Lagos Party
“Ain’t no party like a Lagos party ‘cos when Lagos parties, we don’t bother nobody” – Banky W (2009). People still get bored on Saturdays? Na wa o! One of the benefits of being a taxpayer in Lagos is that you can gatecrash a party and not feel guilty about it. The only invitation to…